Balance balls are for amateurs

Images of balance are everywhere: in magazines, scrolling through our friends' pages on facebook, on the walls of the gym, and in our heads.  We get it, we're supposed to find balance.  But what does it mean to find balance in all things?  Is it the equilibrium of the scales?  The letting go of one thing to take on another?  A state of mind?  Scarier yet, a state of being?  Who the hell knows?!  I blame the Puritans.  

Those dudes thrived on the all or nothing principle.  Either you were good or bad; worthy or unworthy; chosen or unchosen.  Thanks, guys; you really did a bang-up job of helping us cope with the world you created and then abdicated.  

Balance is a tricky thing.  Perhaps the goal is to figure out what is enough and get rid of the rest.  

How do we figure out the limit of what is enough?  Enough money, enough space, enough love, enough stuff?  Religions teach us that there is a difference between a want and a need.  Perhaps that's the key.  Do I want this, or do I need it?  Will it contribute directly to my survival?  Yes.  Okay, that's a need.  No.  Hm, I guess that's a want.  

I need food, shelter, and clothing.  I need the same for my son.  I want to have some fun in the meantime.  Today the fun was building Legos before school and laughing at people who got caught in the downpour predicted at lunch time.  

History will show whether or not I achieved the elusive quality of balance in my life.  Today I feel satisfied, and that's enough.  

Boys are weird

So, I have a son in 1st grade.  He's learning to shower on his own.  This afternoon after swimming lessons, when he missed the window for a shower stall in the girls' locker room, it dawned on me that perhaps he really should be in the boys' locker room. Um, yeah.  He understands that equipment varies by sex, so it's time.  We skipped the shower at lessons.  Unfortunately that meant that I got to supervise the same.  Even though it took about twice as long for him to change and pack up, I let/made him do the whole thing himself.  Next week he's ready for the big leagues.  Whew!

What do boys do in the shower for 30 minutes!?  On second thought, don't answer that.  For about 90% of the time he was singing to himself or enacting imaginary battle scenes involving toys leftover from the days of baths.

I yelled that we don't have an unlimited supply of hot water and that I'm paying for all the water he's using.  He yelped and only spent another 10 minutes rinsing off.  Good grief.

Yes, I had a glass of wine while paying bills, etc and listening for cries for help that never came.  I think I exhaled for the first time in a long while.

Halleluja, the boy can shower himself!  Now if he could just learn to roll over and fall back asleep when he wakes up at 6 am...

Buckle up, Buttercup.

No more school for me

So, I quit my program.  Yep, I'm a 37 year old quitter.  Except that I'm not.  I have a BA in comparative literature and a Master of Library and Information Science.  So quitting my MAT was the best thing I ever did.  Especially because it made me miserable.

So now I'm just another single mom living the dream.  Working, packing lunches, and using my Dammit Doll to get through the dinner/bath/bed routine.

What do I do for work?  I'm back to my first love, retail.  Specifically, Williams Shoes, a family owned business since 1954.  They're coming up on their 60th anniversary, and it's going to be awesome.  The renovation/sprucing up is a crew-wide affair, let me tell you.  I moved my weight in cinder blocks today, and was happy to do it.

My people skills, customer service skills, and librarian treasure-hunting insights all have an outlet in my current employment.  And guess what?  I love it.  I love that every day I get to walk my son to school and pick him up.  I love that my interactions with strangers/customers are both manageable and time limited.  I love that my checks clear.  But most of all, I LOVE working for a family owned business.  After over a decade of slaving away for corporate clients, it's amazingly refreshing, bracing, and nurturing to work for a family owned business.

I was a sole proprietor once.  It was hard.  I was good at my work, but I stunk like a skunk when it came to finding and securing my customer base.  So I get to do good and have fun at work.  It's like a dream, while moving cinder blocks.  I do my best, every day, and still have enough left over for my son at the end of the day.  I wouldn't be able to do that if I was teaching.  Even as a librarian.  At this time in my life, I've found a pretty darn perfect solution.

Let's put the work stuff to bed, shall we?  Next time we'll get to the good stuff: how I manage to balance it all.

Buckle up, Buttercup.